What a wearying day.
My Mom came back from the hospital Thursday night, with my new baby brother. Both doing well, but Daniel tested high for bilirubin levels when he was discharged, so he has to use a biliblanket, or a 'glow blanket,' (UV light) to help him get rid of all his extra bilirubin. He had a test again on Friday, which came back higher, which was not good news, not because it was really dangerous, but because he might have to be readmitted to the hospital to be under 'the lights' (does the same thing as his biliblanket) for a little while. That would mean Mom would have to go back with him, wouldn't be able to rest or relax very well, and all of us kids would be without them both again. So then we really tried to have him in the biliblanket pretty much 24/7, which also entails Mom being with him a lot (he's 'attached' to a machine, so she can't get up and come and sit downstairs) and feeding him a lot.
So now we're up to yesterday. Dad, Lyd, and Nat left at about eight fifteen in the morning. The older kids choir was singing with the adult choir and Dad was directing. Dad also is now less than two weeks away from Festival, and the stage wasn't in place (last week's snowstorm prevented them from starting last weekend), so that's why they left so early. I stayed home with Mom, two girls, and five boys.... Mom had to stay upstairs all day, so Essie and I had to mostly take care of the kids. I will admit the TV was on much of the day. :) Oh, and I'm also working on taming three kittens that our barn cat just brought home after raising them herself for over a month. Fun, fun.
The day went fairly well, despite my having a lot to do and realizing that I was getting sick. My throat had been scratchy in the morning, and then I felt it move a bit into my chest. By evening my nose was running, I was sneezing, and my throat was still a bit scratchy. Still, I was okay. But it was a full, tiring day.
We had corn dogs for dinner and then I put the kids to bed while Essie cleaned up downstairs. I was almost done with my day! Dad, Lyd, and Nat came home and I went to feed the kittens, who are in a small kennel in our porch. I was giving them bits of canned cat food when Dad came downstairs, saw that someone had left the light on in the porch, and flipped it off. I was now in the dark. I called after him, but he didn't figure out where I was in time, so I smiled wryly, stood up, turned around, walked toward the door, and rammed my shin into the cans of paint Dad had brought into the porch the night before to keep them from freezing. I regained my balance, staggered for the door, and collapsed onto the floor in the doorway, mostly-groaning, partly-laughing. Dad came and found me now, turned on the porch light and gasped. I had knocked over the gallon of primer, it had fallen to the ground, dented, opened, and now white primer was pooling on the floor.
At first I didn't really feel that bad about it. My leg hurt and I really was just sitting there, not really thinking too much. Then I saw my shoes, and my jeans. And yes, I'm a woman.
The shoes were relatively new - I got them about a month ago. With my own money. And I only had two pairs of my good jeans. Slowly I realized the shoes were ruined, and maybe my pants. I started to cry, quietly, feeling guilty for crying for my shoes. It wasn't long before I totally broke down.
So after all that had happened that day, I ruined a pair of shoes, possibly a pair of jeans and several towels, two floor mats, dented and spilled a third (or half) of a can of unused primer, banged my shin in two different places, got sick, and ended up crying really hard.
Ironically, yesterday morning I read an article by Paul Tripp on God's Surprises, which I found encouraging and a little difficult. Often I am scared of what those surprises might be. And yet, strangely, often even when I am in the middle of a surprise, it is okay. I can bear it. And often afterward it seems almost trivial. It still hurts. It still makes me want to sob. But I've got a breast to cave in to. And arms that lock around me, challenging evil to try and get me. He knows it hurts. And He loves me as dearly as His own Son. So it must be for my good.
In addition to all those bad-good things that happened that day, there have been several other good-good things and sort-of-bad-good things that also happened. 1) Daniel's Sat. test results came back slightly lower, so he doesn't have to be readmitted, and doesn't have to be tested again 'til Monday. 2) Two of my younger brothers were really concerned about me when I came upstairs crying after the spill, which was very touching. :) 3) Even though he was surely discouraged about having to clean up the primer, the first thing my Dad did was try to save my shoes. 4) I got to cry, which actually can be kind of nice if you've had a lot of stress lately, which I have. :) 5) I got to whimper to Jesus, which doesn't happen every day. 6) I ended up getting the shower I needed. 7) Lydia and Nat stayed home this morning, and I've been in bed while Lyd takes care of the kids. 8) I didn't break my leg, though it almost felt like it initially. I hardly even have a bruise. 9) The kittens do seem to be settling down a little. 10) I got sick now, and will hopefully be better by Wednesday or Thursday, as I'm in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. 11) I got something to blog about, which I had been wishing for.
I apologize if this is a long, hard-to-understand, and poorly written blog post. I'm quite exhausted. But...
He is still good.
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."
